That ghoul thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood
She’s got the hottest trike in town
Congratulations, dear reader! You have stumbled upon the online ramblings of your friendly neighborhood ghoul in the attic. This weblog was established as a means of disseminating this clinically depressed queer goblin’s powerful insights on such important topics as feminism, mental illness, the gay agenda, and bowel movements.
Katie is a great and sometimes creative mind of our times who has won many awards for her artistic endeavors, including Mrs. Dahl’s 4th Grade Class Writing Award, 8th Grade Honors Science Best-Looking Model Insect, and one vote for Best Dressed – CHS Class of 2007.
Occasional bursts of intrepidness have led Katie to pursue such adventures as backpacking solo through the mountains of New Zealand and skating as a jammer for her local roller derby team. Frequent bursts of anxiety have led Katie on such adventures as eschewing all human contact and shotgunning peanut butter cups and Xanax whilst crying on the couch.
Multiple people have compared her to April Ludgate, which is probably the highest compliment a human can hope to receive.
She really likes cats and really misses her dear cat-sister Libby, who has never returned a phone call, but has somehow found the time to take up pooping on the roof of the family home.
She aspires to one day become an entry-level field biologist, a paranormal investigator, or a historical re-enactor for television.
What people are saying about Katie:
- “Not a dumbass.” – Her current employer (he literally said that)
- “Lesbian!” – Some shrimpy asshole in 12th grade Government class.*
- “You look just like that actress, whatshername… Shelley DuVall!” – Fellow patron at Dollar Tree
- “Could be a pretty good freestyler if she swam year-round.” – Childhood swim coach